being ugly on the internet is nice because you know you’ve earned all your followers instead of getting them b/c youre hot
andrew: hrmmmm
me: u r right. it is neither passive-aggressive nor sarcastic enough. i have failed my ancestors. i have learnt nothing
andrew: you could have amped it up
me: i'm either waiting for a giant bitchfest to come up
OR
i'm going to take confidence, dancing, and hotness lessons from drag queens and then i will challenge her by having an epic twerk-off in the student center
andrew: hahaha
me: i'm like 97% serious
if a skinny man and/or a large, 250 pound, 6 ft 3 man in a dress can twerk in a wig and eyelash extensions, so can i, goddamn it
andrew: u must travel to the drag queen monastary high in the mountains
me: i must master all four elements
glitter. twerking. lip syncing. nip-slipping.
only the last assbender, master of all four elements, can save the world
our kids will probably attend a middle school dance where the theme is the 2010’s
they’ll wear leggings with ugg boots and twerk to “call me maybe”
I want to go to there
THE SOFTWARE I AM USING IS GLITCHING AND IS PUTTING “STEAK” UNDER EVERY BEAT I AM SO ANGRY AND AMUSED
I feel like they could remake that whole movie from Chekhov’s point of view.
The title would be THIS IS NOT MY JOB! and it would just be two hours of Chekhov running around the warp core with his little goggles as everything goes to shit all around him.
#I CANNOT DO ZAT
